did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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