doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Randomize
