Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
