If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
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He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
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we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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