highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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