Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
