I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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