And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
