my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
is that a dick in a sweater?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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