Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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