Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
the day after is always just damage control
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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