I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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