Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.