So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
We named our party play list daddy issues
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
At least life still wants to fuck me.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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