Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
