Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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