I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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