Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
you never un-have a 4some
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
