one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
