Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize