i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
