just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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