I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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