Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
