Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
