I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
