Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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