trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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