Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
