We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
