On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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