some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
