I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
