I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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