i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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