Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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