Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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