I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
