If i come over, it means nothing
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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