So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
