I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
