Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
