hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
