You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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