Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
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