Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
