i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Damn victory sex feels great
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
