I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
organizing the empties. That sober.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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