1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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