Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
oh god the rape fog is back!
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
