I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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