My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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