He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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