Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
What a dumb baby whore.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
