I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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