I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
