Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
dude. I can hear the air.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
