i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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