are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
