I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I just want nice things and good sex
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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